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Vaccinate This, Syringe Seekers: Who Gets The Vaccine?

Who gets the vaccine? After the fifth–or maybe the fiftieth time–I’d been asked whether I was going to get the vaccine for covid and I had no ready answer, figuring rightly that I had some time to decide (I had no idea then that I had as much time as I DO have), I looked up the availability of it in Nevada and who is allowed to get it. (I figured I might as well submit to the inevitable and get the Mark of the Beast. Why fight it?)

When I researched who will be allowed, I saw an ad, “Do you qualify for lower insurance rates?” It certainly fits.

Two old friends had called me yesterday and in the course of the conversation they asked if I was getting vaccinated. I gave my standard answer that I wasn’t sure and was going to wait to see if they grew a third eye or their tongue turned black. Now that I’ve warned them, they probably won’t tell me what happens. They’ll want me to be a three-eyed, black tongued, healthy member of society just like them.

After we hung up, I looked up the age for who was getting the vaccine in Nevada. The state is going in phases, or tiers, or orchestra seats, not just ages, from what I could ascertain.

The first phase for vaccinations seems to be vaccinating teachers. They are pretending–in Oscar winning performances–to want to get back to work not teaching our kids anything useful. I suspect they just want to get away from their own kids after a year of cozy togetherness. Some were crying after getting their shot, the article told me. Crying for joy. Who are they trying to kid?

Funnily enough, Fauci waited until AFTER January 20th to tell teachers to go back to school. Everything really IS academic.

Who gets the vaccine on Chezgigi.com

Well, thought I, after the teachers will come the 65 year olds and older, right?

No, no, the article told me. After the teachers (who won’t get sick now, but we can’t guarantee the health of your kids), will be medical personnel.

This makes sense as they have to be around sick people all the time. So the state will be vaccinating doctors, nurses, therapists, pharmacists, human resources, billing specialists, and the information lady who sits inside the lobby of the hospital.

Alright. Then it will be MY turn, right?

No, no. We will then be vaccinating law enforcement, prison guards, prisoners over the age of 10, the prison librarian, the cafeteria workers, the prison bus drivers, the landscapers, and the meter maids.

Sigh. Okay, but what about after the entire prison system and Metro police department?

Let me check the list. Okay, see here? We have to vaccinate military personnel after law enforcement. They’re keeping us safe from invasion, you know. Well, except for the southern border. We have to do our best for our boys and girls in khaki.

I suppose. But no one in their right mind is coming over here anyway, not even by bus. So what say we keep them home for the time being? That way, they can’t bring any bugs back with them. Who’s on the list after the soldiers, officers, and all the people associated with them?

Then, we have to vaccinate other essential workers. Office personnel, retail workers, food servers, Uber drivers and public transportation workers, pizza delivery guys, and politicians.


Yes. You wouldn’t want them to sicken and die, would you?

Don’t ask me questions you don’t want answers to, okay?

Well. I never.

I’ll bet. So who comes after the “essential” workers, like….snort….senators?

Well, we will be vaccinating people 70 years old and older, including nursing home residents and all the workers who are employed in them, and in assisted living quarters. After we get done with that group, we’ll give you a call. If we don’t do the 16 to 64 year olds first. You’re 67, right?


Did you vote for Biden?

No. What difference does THAT make?

Oh…..none. None at all. Forget we even said anything. Just go home and wait for our call, alright?

Yeah, okay. By the way, I DID vote for him, I just forgot.

Riiiggght. We suggest looking up the penalty for lying to The Narrator of the Blog. Ignore anything that implies The Narrator doesn’t exist. He exists, alright. And he’s been vaccinated.


Edit: This came in as a comment, but I’m going to post it without the name in case there are Men in Black monitoring this.

Can’t guarantee what will happen in Nevada – everything there is a bet, right? – but try this:
Where I live, and I expect in NV too, you don’t go directly to the CDC to register for a vaccination appointment.  Instead, you go to a provider who is giving out the vaccine, fill out a form there, and that form is sent to the CDC who then sends you and email with instructions on how to sign up for an appointment.  You probably know all this.  
I went to the Prisma site.  Prisma is the hospital conglomerate around here: don’t know what yours is.  I could have gone to a drug store site as well.  You probably know all this too.  When I went to the Prisma site, I clicked “Get Vaccine”, which sent me to that form.  That form axed me to click what priority group I was in.  Truthful answer: none. 
However, I did know that the CDC was recommending states vaccinate people 65+, so I checked the “Over 70 box”, knowing that at the next section of the form I was going to give them my truthful birthdate.  IE, I checked the “Over 70” box just to get past that section of the form.  I filled out the rest of it, accurately, correct age, and clicked, “Submit”.  Maybe I do and maybe I don’t, but I clicked it anyway.  A day or so later I got the email, and I now have my first vaccination.  
My 63 year old sister had stopped at “Over 70” and proceeded no further.  This, the trial lawyer:  Never met a word she couldn’t redefine to whatever you needed it to be.  I said, “You’re crazy”, and described the rationale, she went back and did it my way, and now has an appointment.  
Here’s the rationale:  The state knows full well the inherent inefficiency of 100% compliance with the priority rules: people are slow to register, some don’t register at all, and meanwhile they’ve got vaccines and people want them.  One one hand they want to vaccinate as fast a possible, but on the other they want to prioritize.  They are competing priorities, so they need some flex to accomplish both, and they allow it.  Another factor is that the vaccine has to be kept at about minus a million degrees, and is good for only 6 hours after it’s opened.  So they have to plan and estimate how many to open each day: Can’t be throwing unused ones away.  Here, in addition to the appointments, they are vaccinating walk-ups, no appointment, until that day’s opened vaccines are gone.  
What that tells me is that if one is truthful, and one lets the CDC decide whether to give the appointment, anything one can reasonably and honestly do to get the appointment, that is what one should do.  It balances the competing needs for speed and priority.      
Fill out the form in such a way that you get to the ‘submit’ button, with an honest birthday.”
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37 thoughts on “Vaccinate This, Syringe Seekers: Who Gets The Vaccine?

  • February 2, 2021 at 1:31 am

    Both my sisters got the vaccine, ones a nurse so that works. But the other is younger than me! Humph. Around here the counties are distributing the stuff and Alameda county is confused as usual. I’ll get it when I can but the husband is dithering. We shall see.

    • February 2, 2021 at 1:54 am

      Maybe it has to do with population or number of cases? So you can’t get it, either???

      • February 2, 2021 at 3:24 am

        Not yet. And no guess on when.

        • February 2, 2021 at 5:06 am

          Read the edit I added to the post, Mary. It might help if you want to get the vaccine sooner.

          • February 2, 2021 at 7:08 am

            Interesting indeed. There is no place yet to sign up, I’ll keep this in mind. In any case, I’m over 70 so I should be in the OK right now group. This whole thing is really messed up and confused.

          • February 2, 2021 at 11:32 pm

            It sounds like it. Craig says he’s in Kern County and anyone 65 plus can get the shot.

  • February 2, 2021 at 1:41 am

    No need to worry. By the time they get around to you (or me) there won’t be any vaccine available, ‘cause somebody unplugged the refrigerator that contained the last available vial.

    • February 2, 2021 at 1:53 am

      Haha! Sounds like the plot to a Twilight Zone. Dee, dee, dee, dee… After all this fidgeting about it, I can’t get it anyway!

  • February 2, 2021 at 2:12 am

    Very funny. “I had no idea how much time I DO have.” Your skepticism about teachers seems warranted: Fauci, in what is even for him a whiplash inducing change of tune, now says it’s okay for kids to be in school, which around here sent all the teachers running for the bunkers screaming, “Save the children!” Such selflessness.

    And very strange. My state does have some occupational priorities, but mostly it is prioritized by age. I am not saying one system is better than another, but the at risk part of the population is highly identifiable – Docs can’t tell you who will die from it, but they can tell you who wont, and its all about age – and it seems only logical to vaccinate all those first. But when you mix ideology and politics in with policy, truth becomes an ancillary consideration. Guess what my vocab word for the week is.

    • February 2, 2021 at 3:53 am

      Don’t tell me… Is it “dystopian”?
      Well, one of the friends is ONLY 60, so he wants my share.

      Our friend, who is over 70, got it, and is fine. So did you, and I thought you were my age or younger. Each state seems to be different.

      And they were trying to paint Fauci as neutral all last year? This is not accurate? I’m stunned!

      • February 2, 2021 at 4:15 am

        Yes, under Trump, Fauci was all about closing schools. After Jan. 20 he was about opening schools. Not saying that was the reason. Just sayin’. The teacher unions here trotted out the “its for the children!” line before he had left the podium. They like teaching in pajamas, I think.

        Simon had a Chemistry test today. I was having lunch with him because his group is e-learning on Mondays and Fridays – which quite obviously does NOT mean being stuck at the house watching teachers in pajamas (TIPs) give lectures – so hearing him say, “Yeah, I have a Chem test today” sounded weird. My role with him is questioner-in-chief, which usually means, “You expect me to believe that shit you’re telling me?”, so I axed him how one goes about taking a Chem test at home. “Oh, no problem. You just log on, pull up the test, start checking boxes.” Einstein, I’m talking do. “Okay”, I say, “It sounds like you just have your book sitting right there beside you, maybe another lap top open, already cued to “Google”. He shrugged, like, “Sure.”
        “Wait, they allow that?”
        “Oh, no. They say not do do that.”
        “You’re shi, I mean kidding me.”
        “No really, they say you can’t.”
        “That’s not what I meant.”
        So, that is chemistry education under covid. As best I can tell, wait 10 years and sell all your pharma stocks.

        You thought I was “your age or younger”. Right in there, huh?
        Andy: How much you weigh, anyway, Barn?
        Barney: Oh, I’m up and down. 135, 135 and a half.
        Andy: Right in there, huh?
        Barney: Yeah.

        I be 65 and a half. If a month from now is half a year. And yes, I got an appointment. Send you an email about it.

        • February 2, 2021 at 4:26 am

          You know, just for the sake of pretending a LITTLE bit, they could wait a few weeks before transparently changing policy. We ain’t all stupid. In fact, many of us are amateur sleuths.

          Pharma stocks. Tick me off. Simon will turn out to be a Wall Street raider, anyway.

          Did you hear about the teacher who suspended a boy for having a toy gun in his bedroom– classroom– during class? It was on his dresser. I’d charge her with being a Peeping Tom. Twit.

          • February 2, 2021 at 4:46 am

            So basically – no, actually – the govt can demand that a camera be turned on in your house, and can then impose all its rule and penalties it can see on camera, extending the authority they have in the school into your home?

            Do I have that about right? And we’re going to turn health care over to these people?

            It’s not even a funny saying anymore: It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you. But you’ve heard my rant that we have passed the tipping point: it’s not a matter of fighting it – it’s coming – but of how to live when it comes.

          • February 2, 2021 at 4:58 am

            The parents are suing, but I would have just taken him out of “school” altogether. Or got him back in long enough to buy every toy gun I could find, and a few real ones, and pile them up on his bed in plain sight. Hang them on the walls, put them on the dresser, have him wear a shoulder holster and a black hat. Yeah, that’s what I would do.

            Why do you think I hesitated over the vaccine? And seeing Pelosi getting it wasn’t reassuring in the least. She’s immune to everything anyway. She’s an alien. You can tell.

          • February 2, 2021 at 5:10 am

            For the vaccine to have some nefarious purpose would require a huge conspiracy of many people. Sure, possible, and compared to 30 years ago, conceivable. But, imo, would be too large and too many people to pull off secretly. But is it safe for the long term? I admit that this is in the realm of educated guess. The FDA clearly states they have not approved it, that it is administered under emergency use. However, the typical tests were completed, and unless there is a conspiracy the vaccine shouldn’t be any more dangerous than the disease itself.

            If this were an emergency use polio or aids vaccine, no, I wouldn’t get near it.
            But for this, my choice was yes. If someone else says, “No, I want to wait on full FDA approval”, fine. But of course if a conspiracy is on one’s mind, that is no additional assurance. Less, maybe. Bottom line: they started giving it two months ago, and people aren’t falling over dead, so….

          • February 2, 2021 at 5:16 am

            No, but people are acting very erratically, unreasonably, and even violently, particularly in the last two months. What do they say- that cause doesn’t equal effect, or something? I need Simon’s help to understand possible chemical reactions in the human animal to unverified vaccine trials.

          • February 2, 2021 at 5:28 am

            Well, you could have kept that to yourself, thankyouverymuch. Now every time I forget to turn right rather than left – a common thing – I’ll wonder if it was the vaccine. Seriously, I’ll have to look that up now. But later. Do I have second thoughts about the vaccine? No.

            Maybe that is an erratic thought, given what you just told me.

          • February 2, 2021 at 5:33 am

            When you have thoughts of possibly doing something that would “improve” the political system or the election process, then you should worry. Until then, just watch Andy Griffith reruns and be happy.

  • February 2, 2021 at 2:16 am

    Just saying, there needs to be an edit function around here somewhere. My comment has the most egregious mixed metaphor, or tense conflict, or pronoun disagreement, or something. I don’t know what the latin phrase for the error would be, but it likely translates to, “That shit don’t make sense.”

    • February 2, 2021 at 4:02 am

      I just went with it and blamed any misunderstanding on my own lack.

      To get an avatar, you have to register with something called Gravitar, I think. It’s a WordPress thing. I’ll research it.

      I’m using my phone to reply, and I can’t edit either. You’re right; there’s no edit option out here in the cold.

      But the comment sounded perfectly reasonable.

  • February 2, 2021 at 2:19 am

    Then what scares me is that your comment made perfect sense to me.

    • February 2, 2021 at 2:29 am

      🙂 Well, you might be right. It seemed to me that my comment suggests that we should be vaccinating everyone who won’t die from covid. But upon further review, the phrase inside the dashes is not a part of the grammatical reading of the surrounding sentence, so you are correct. Mrs Mill’s 5th grade English class, which was all about diagraming sentences, didn’t include what to do with dashes on a diagram.

      But what I can say is this: there needs to be some way to add an avatar to our posts. I am a colorless outline of a man only in real life and according to my family. In here, I should be whatever I want to be. Like a car.

      • February 2, 2021 at 4:06 am

        Now come. Surely they see you as something a little more than that???

        I see the problem- you should only email them.

        • February 2, 2021 at 4:25 am

          I would, but they only let me text. “I don’t do email.” I can talk only to voice mails, but I don’t think those get heard. C’mon, you have a 30 year old; you know this.

          • February 2, 2021 at 4:30 am

            Actually, it was a 65 year old friend who gave me grief over my emails and made me text him. Called me an old lady.

        • February 2, 2021 at 4:56 am

          Well, you know how it is. Some people, as they reach age 65, have less nuanced thoughts, easy to put into texts.

          • February 2, 2021 at 4:58 am

            Indeed. We elitists will continue with what we’ve always done, thank you.

    • February 2, 2021 at 4:04 am

      Me too! Sorta kinda.

  • February 2, 2021 at 11:27 am

    My ex-wife and my ex-sister-in-law already got the vaccine, and neither of them has grown a third eye yet. In my county (in California) the Public Health Department has an interactive map showing all the places you can get the vaccine — about 30 places around the city (hospitals, clinics, pharmacies, etc.). All you have to do is call the place and get an appointment. I haven’t done it yet, but I’m not afraid of RFID chips in the vaccine serum. I’m also not afraid of the Orbital Mind Control Lasers or Joe Biden.

    In a few weeks I will be 67 years old like you, Gigi. At this point anyone in Kern County who is 65+ years of age can get the shot.

    • February 2, 2021 at 5:48 pm

      Orbital Mind Lasers? Wow. Can I get one of those?

      Thanks, Craig, for the info. You know, the worst interaction I ever had with a random driver was in Kern County.

      I’ll ask my doc where to check for updated info on this as we go along.

    • February 2, 2021 at 5:49 pm

      I know who this is! I recognize the car!

      • February 2, 2021 at 6:40 pm

        🙂 Someday. One day.

        When I got the avatar it didn’t show up here within a few minutes, so I thought maybe I had to respond as my wordpress name. Hence the test, and then the avatar popped up. Whether that was it, or just coincidence, I do not know. Hey, we’ll find out right now.

  • June 1, 2021 at 9:16 pm

    We got ours at CVS. Went to the website, filled out the form and waited for available appointments. At this late date, the waiting probably isn’t necessary. I had a mild reaction to the second shot (about like a mild flu that lasted about 8 hours the following day.) My wife was sick for a couple of days starting about 24 hours after her second dose. My son said he was sick for about 36 hours after the second dose.

    It’s not the first vaccine to cause a reaction and it won’t be the last.

    • June 2, 2021 at 3:10 am

      Hi, Al! I did write this a while back, but regardless, I’m glad you had no problems getting the shot. I’ve decided not to get one, at least for the foreseeable future.

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