Fractured Fallacies of a Finagling Fact Finder and Obfuscating Humorist

A Woman's Guide To The Universe

White People And Veterans Got No Reason. For Anything, It Seems

White people and veterans are coming under fire, so to speak. I wonder about this new breed of ‘hippies’, this current generation of protestors and progressives.

My generation wanted to Stick It To the Man, it’s true. The Man was white. A few of those stickers became rich capitalists and ended up being The Man, but they didn’t say stupid stuff in their protest years. At least, not from a distance of forty some years, they didn’t.

They said things like, Make Love, Not War, and Military Industrial Complex, and Tune In, Turn On, and Drop Out. They even said, End the War! Gasp. Didn’t they know the Commies would take over the minute we pulled out of Vietnam? (I can’t remember- did they?)

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Doncha just hate happy white people? Hey…there might be someone who isn’t all white hiding in this group.

I’ve read two articles in as many days about trending issues the young folk are protesting.  Are these issues deserving of a great deal of angst, like: Homelessness, a living wage for everyone, widespread endemic drug and alcohol abuse, pedophilia, corporate shenanigans, things of that nature?

No, they are not.  Instead they’re addressing the problem of veterans going to college. Veterans, say some SJWs, should not be allowed on college campuses. Oh, the days of protesting the ROTC recruiters on campus back in the day. There was an issue you could sink your teeth into. That was the Military Industrial Complex protesting in action!

There is some question as to whether this is a hoax or not. A student claiming to represent a school newsletter had approval from the administration to post a flyer saying veterans shouldn’t be allowed to take classes. The university claims they didn’t approve it.

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Burning a draft card. And not eating tacos.

I once interviewed a man who was 92. He’d be at least 100, if he’s still alive. I hope he is because he was a hoot. He told me all about fixing his daughter’s roof. She was 70 at the time. He regaled me with stories of kicking over the tables of the Communist recruiters on the campus of his school back in the 30s. It might have been Berkeley. He was coming out of WWI, and there was a Great Depression, which is kind of an oxymoron, but he still didn’t think the Commies had all the answers.

Veterans are scary, said the SJW flyer posted on campus. That is the reason they shouldn’t attend college. They frighten the other students.

This attitude is short sighted. Knowing that a campus shooter could show up any day, these things not being scheduled generally, I’d be grateful rather than not, knowing there’s someone sitting next to me in class who knows how to fire weapons and has faced exploding devices and lots of people trying to shoot him in the course of a work day.

He or she is the student I’d look to, to step up and stop that guy.

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I’m sure glad I get to be a mechanic after all my years of service.

These veterans would be allowed to go to school, said the flyer posted by the mysterious student, but only trade schools. Clearly, welders and mechanics don’t get scared by veterans and other bogymen.

Meanwhile, not far away in Portland, Oregon, activists are compiling a list of restaurants owned by ‘white’ people who have the gall to appropriate other people’s food. This doesn’t mean that random Caucasians are stealing other bologna samwishes and Twinkies. It means they make and serve tacos and dosas and such in their restaurants.

This list of No No restaurants are the ones people should boycott, say the activists.

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This leaves me wondering what in hell I should make and eat as a white American.

Hot dogs, which are thought of as quintessentially American, would be okay. The hot dog came from Germany, didn’t it? Well, Germans are mostly white (Germans: Motto, We’re mostly white! ), so I guess hot dogs are aces. Trouble is, I only like to eat hot dogs maybe once a year. I’m going to be awfully hungry on Day Two.

What about hamburgers? I think they’re okay, too. Which means McDonald’s and Wendy’s are safe from boycott. Wendy is a red haired wench. She definitely appears Caucasian. What about Panda Express? That’s Asian food, so I guess I should no longer patronize them until I investigate who really owns the franchise. They do mostly employ Mexican ladies. At least the ones near us do.

Spaghetti, pizza, and lasagna came from Italy. Are they allowed to use noodles, seeing as how Marco Polo brought them back to Italy from China, wasn’t it? Are Italians white, by the way? The Germans haven’t always thought so. I know Asians aren’t.

What about chili? Isn’t that a bastardization of a Mexican bean dish? How about southern dishes like catfish, red beans and rice? I’m almost positive there were some non-white people who thought of those first.

Rice is used in Asian and Latino restaurants. I heard they also use it in Spanish restaurants. Probably some guy like Marco P brought it back from an Asian country too, just willy nilly appropriating other people’s cultural food dishes. Tch.

Cheese is kind of French, but I don’t know if we’re boycotting just white people, or whether we’re including anyone who ‘appropriates’ someone else’s dishes. Wisconsin dairy farmers are definitely white. Ergo, other races shouldn’t use cheese in their restaurants. Cheese is ours. That’s really going to cut some people off at the knees, menu-wise.

I’m getting hungry talking about this, but I’m afraid to eat anything. I might get boycotted. I love me a good cup of coffee, but you’ll never see me in a diner or a Starbucks again. That heavenly hot stuff in a cup belongs to Columbia, and nobody has the right to appropriate it. I’m going to organize a night raiding party, all of us dressed up like Pancho Villa, and we’ll dump a bunch of coffee beans off a cargo plane. Rest easy, Columbia! I’m here to help!

The two ladies in Portland, Oregon, who caused such a furor because they ‘appropriated’ their burrito recipe and were forced to shut down their food cart when people found out they’d brought their recipe back from Mexico after a vacation there, should have kept it on the down low, or told people the recipe was passed down to them from a great grandparent.

Only then, someone would have jacked their family genealogy and called them out as liars and thieves. Ridiculous. No one owns a recipe. Let’s just throw some oregano instead of cumin in there. Voila. New recipe.

You know that clap blackjack dealers give when they’re tapped out by another dealer, to prove they haven’t palmed a black chip? Well, that’s what I’m doing with the SJW movement.

I’ll stick with the hippies who just wanted to Stick It To The Man, not to the ordinary guy. (They often confused these two subsets of society, which is probably why I didn’t become a hippie, either.)


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  1. Rakim Lakim Mohammed Hakim, hackin the back end of maggots rackin the crack shit

    Honestly I just love your articles so much LOL! XDDDD

  2. Mike Van Horn

    Could we get a copy of the list of all those eateries to boycott? Sounds to me like they might have the most interesting food. And none of those annoying self-righteous protesting young idiots will be there.

    • Yes, they have a list compiled. I’d have bought burritos from those ladies every day, just knowing these people were ticked off about it. It was ‘hurting’ food vendors in Mexico, they said. Yeah. Someone else suggested they should send their profits to the vendors. That would have made the Mexican ladies puzzled, but happy.

      I’m with you. Let’s go have a lunch of ‘authentic’ burritos, black beans and rice, some sushi made by a white guy, and some paella. We’ll be sure and check the owners’ certificates. Make sure they don’t have a quarter Traveling Salesman in them.

  3. Wolf Man

    Yes my love the cries for Justice seem to come from the Crazy sector now.
    I fear that if they keep pushing that the eventual push back will be way over the top.
    However they seem to be intent on asking for the maximum rebuke.

  4. Jayesh Lalwani

    If food appropriation were banned, we wouldnt have anything good to eat. Tomato is one of the main ingredients in a lot of Indian dishes originated in Central America. Orange is used in many cuisines originated in India. Both fruits spread across the world because white people appropriated them

    If white people never appropriated other people’s food, everything would be yucky.

    • That’s a good point, Jayesh. Like my coffee example, right? They gonna add Starbucks to the list? And besides, after hybrids, hardly anything exists the way it first did. Like bananas.

  5. Will Jennings

    Uh oh. I’m white and live in the South. Does this mean no Soul Food or Native American stuff like Corn or Mammoth?

    Wait, my ancestors were all from Scotland. ( I was born a McMillan.)

    So at least I have Haggis, right?

    • HAGGIS? Just the name fills me with horror. It’s something to do with sheep guts, right? Well, no chance I’m appropriating haggis. It’s all yours. You can put it in a hot dog bun!

  6. Nelson Mary

    Well, burritos started in San Francisco, Caesar salad is from Tiajuana, chili as we know it came from San Antonio, Texas. All food is cross cultural. Most food in Mexico is fusion, beef, pork, lamb and chicken all came from Europe, rice from Asia. And the Irish can’t have potatoes because they’re from Peru??!!! This is a bunch of ignorant foolishness from people who don’t have a clue.
    And banning veterans from campuses!? As I have said elsewhere, try substitute words. No Jews should be allowed, they’re too smart. No blacks because —–, Irish need not apply, no Asians — no whatever. All have been banned at one time or another and anyone who actually suggests this is deeply disturbed. And very wrong. And sad.

    But let us all eat something from somebody else’s cuisine tonight. And enjoy it.

    • I agree, Mary. To be fair, the veteran thing MAY be a hoax. I haven’t been able to find out for sure. It sounds like it could happen, unfortunately. I didn’t know that about burritos and Caesar salad! Very cool. It stands to reason Mexico has fusion food, anyway. The Spanish were there. I’m having veggie soup made in a crock pot, and some grapes. I hope that is satisfactory? Haha!

      • Nelson Mary

        I don’t know. The slow cooker was probably invented by an Estonian, or something!
        The fact is that all food is fusion, all cultures are blended and “appropriated”. And most of us are plenty darn blended.
        Enjoy the soup and fruit. And relax, it is a beautiful evening here.

        • I will. I also made a chicken taco. I know I’m blended. We’re cold here at 76 degrees in the house and the doors open. AC hasn’t been on all day. Sigh. Nice.

          Some peoples dig a hole and cook stuff for hours.

  7. John Mallon

    Gigi, another great post. Totally agree with all you said, especially the haggis. And as Marvin and Tammi said “the world is just a great big haaggis, you gotta plant love seeds till it dies”.
    Talking of oxymorons, is’nt President Trump an oxymoron in every sense of the word. Now, he should be appropriated……to the gutter of a busy road

    • Thank you, John! I’m looking for some Loooove Seeds!

      Oxy Moron is his new brand of laundry detergent. From the makers of Oxy Clean, we bring you Oxy Moron Laundry Soap! You’ll wash your clean clothes with it, and not notice a difference!

      Wouldn’t it be nice if the POTUS could just keep working with both sides to do some good in the world?

      • John Mallon

        Gigi, It would be nice if he would do that.
        But in order to do that both sides would, I imagine, have to look each other in the face. When they look at him, which face would they be looking at, the POTUS or Agent Orange, hope its not both!

  8. J

    Amen, Gigi. Amen. White people are the current “Jews,” for the stupid. Ha ha ha.

  9. Mickey

    Hahaha! I miss you and am looking forward to one of our fabulous and hilarious conversations!

    Hey, all the good food came from somewhere, but I’m with you, cheese is ours! Tch. Now I like many varieties of cheese, but good cheese, not weird smelling cheese or dare I say, Head cheese, we know what that really is, and it ain’t cheese sista! Oh my.

    • Oh, gross! Haha! Me too, looking forward to a good gabfest! Aren’t you going to the Illinois meet up for Quora in November, Mickey? I know you’ll look just fabulous!

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