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Fractured Fallacies of a Finagling Fact Finder and Obfuscating Humorist

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A Woman's Guide To The Universe, Internet Stuff

CyberBullying Is Alive And Well: The Wolf Bites Back With A New Book

Internet bullying is alive and well. It’s been happening to me on Quora for the last year and a half, almost since I opened an account there.

It isn’t just a matter of being personally trashed online; it’s turned into an ugly case of being stalked and threatened, and continues in haranguing, slanderous posts and comment threads directed at me. I’ve written about the stalking experience in other posts on this blog and the information will be in the book.

What Happened When I Was Stalked On The Internet: Rick Klugman

The original two people have picked up other members for their group, people who don’t know anything about the whole story, but have made up their minds based on what these people tell them about me. This is what happens to kids all through school, to adults in the workplace, and now to people online.

Internet Bullying:The Wolf Bites Back  is the title of a book I’m working on for young adults and middle school kids. It’s up on Kindle now, but I’m overhauling it.

In my research, I found this article about a middle school girl dubbed the ‘Drama Queen’:

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/03/how-to-stop-bullies/309217/

The name is funny, because that is exactly the name I bestowed on one of the people on Quora who’s been harassing me. I describe her more fully in: http://chezgigi.com/2017/09/04/the-single-white-female-quora-style/

The beat goes on and on and on, and on, on Quora, the social media site where I have met the enemy. He or she, could be anyone, crawling out from under a rock on any social media site.

Just last week, a young friend from Quora had to deactivate and leave because some pervert kept harassing her with horrible sexual messages, even hacking her profile picture. One account would get banned, and he’d pop up with another one.

She was practically in a full blown panic over it and a day or two later, came down with the flu, probably from the stress. She’s a Muslim woman, and I can only imagine the angst she must have felt.

The harassment of my person is continual, and I’m very surprised people aren’t just flat out sick and tired of hearing the same old story about me being a narcissistic bully, among many other things. It has been played.

the wolf bites back on internet bullying on chezgigi.com

The images I have to choose from about this subject are multiple, but I refuse to show any where the person being harassed is depicted as vulnerable. Yes, they are vulnerable to villagers with flaring torches who love to throw stones, but I refuse to be a victim, any more than circumstances dictate. Getting me or my friends banned isn’t going to solve their problem, which they seem to think is me.

Friends send me screen shots of all the comments and posts concerning me, and I have the posts I’ve written here. Someone suggested a pamphlet for doctors’ offices after reading my post on being stalked, but I like the idea of a self-published book on Kindle, my go-to way of putting books out there.

Kindle is free and open to everyone. I pay for covers and editing, so nothing is completely free. I’d be interested in finding out if middle schools would like someone to come by and give talks about internet bullying, harassment, and threats. I’m no expert, but I certainly have some experience.

A friend on Quora sent me this.

Kids often don’t have a clue how to fight back, and the attitude from the bullies turns to self-righteous victim hood every single damn time when someone decides to take action against their behavior. Don’t they get sick of hearing their own lies and whining?

“Yeah, I robbed that convenience store and beat up the clerk, but you don’t have the right to call me a criminal, a thief, a Beater Up of People! How DARE you? I’ll sue!”

The logic escapes me, and it will escape kids, too.

They’ll think school is teaching them all they need to know about bullying, but schools are failing miserably. A week ago, two kids, a beautiful young teenage girl, and an adorable, sweet 8 year old boy, both died at their own hands because they were being bullied, in person and on the internet.

This is one black hole our country has fallen into:

People not taking responsibility for their actions; claiming an emotional or mental liability as an excuse for bad or depraved behavior; abusing drugs to the extent that they’ve destroyed brain cells and then blaming other people for their lousy lives; crying about a ‘deprived or abusive childhood’, though they seem perfectly able to function adequately otherwise, like obeying other laws, paying their bills, raising children-godawful though their kids may turn out.

And the biggest insult? Going on the offensive when someone fights back or defends themselves.

In fact, that is exactly what and why these people are doing it to me: I had the unmitigated gall (what is mitigated gall?) to defend myself against their bullying. I’ve received multiple nasty messages from people they’ve spoken to, demanding I send back jewelry that I supposedly stole, when in fact, it was sent back within two weeks of the person it belonged to. By certified mail.

Another friend of theirs suggested I want to ‘clip Spartiatis’ wings’ which is why I’m harassing them.  I almost choked I was laughing so hard. She chooses to forget I know exactly when and why this started, and I have the records of it, including her emails to me.

It also doesn’t fit their story that when she asked me to nominate Klugman, the man who stalked and harassed me here, for Quoran of the Week, I agreed, even though I didn’t think he had done anything worthy of being honored for. I did it as a favor, and this is how they repaid me. I remained friends with the two people who nominated me, because I was- get this-grateful to them: Jayesh Lalwani and Martin Vadakara, who has since left Quora.

No part of my story fits her narrative. She chooses to forget she asked me to promote her soaps on my blog. I told her of course I would, and would be happy to write content for her, too.

A few days later, she was trashing me online after sending me an email telling me what a ‘fake’ she thinks I am and how she detests me. Another person’s narrative is an important concept to remember if you’re ever in a similar situation. This will be in the book too, as background.

It’s a fact that in America, the number one cause of stress is workplace bullying. And yet it’s being addressed at the school level? Someone is failing miserably in eradicating bullying. They’re trying to cure a disease with a watered down vitamin shot, and the internet has just given these people a free pass to be the worms they are.

The research for the book is enlightening, and since my experience encompasses both a man and a woman, I’ve been stuck for an explanation for the concentrated hatred.

Here’s a possible explanation:

“But there is more at play than sexism – and the driving force of such behavior is complex. According to Haines, there are two key elements working in tandem. One is social comparison: People are wired to see themselves in a favorable light and they do this by comparing themselves to “similar others,” like individuals in the same career line, age group or gender. Women who do not compare favorably next to other women may be inclined to spread negativity as a way to feel better about themselves. “It evokes jealousy or envy,” says Haines. “The way that they deal with it is to try to bring them down a little bit.”

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/why-women-troll-women-online-w448957

It’s insanity in its own way, but insanity can be fought. It’s never going to stop, because many people ARE insane. No one will be able to figure out their thought processes especially if the person being bullied is at all normal, so don’t even try. It’s useless.  I know there’s no such thing as ‘normal’, but I’ve always found the Golden Rule to be instructive and a darn good one to live by.

There are remedies for the insanity though, and the sooner someone knows about them, the better.

Off to think about the cover. Suggestions, polite ones, always welcome.

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4 Comments

  1. Mickey

    Fantastic that you’re bringing attention to this Gigi, and I feel the book will beneficial to so many who suffer, some in silence. These poor kids are taking their lives at an alarming rate due to the bullying and it affects us all.

    It’s sad when people feel the need to resort to this pathetic behavior, and it’s disturbing to me that you personally have been targeted on Quora. And of course because I’m your friend and defender, I too have now been targeted, amongst others who have nothing to do with this.

    Creepy Martha is playing on the sympathies of this pack and they’re buying it hook, line and sinker. All she had to do was leave me alone, but she couldn’t do it because there’s something wrong with her. She’s stalking people in their PMs whining and pleading for them to get involved in trying to get mean Gigi and mean Mickey to talk to her again. This has gotten beyond annoying and way past embarrassing.
    What to do? Just keep writing Gigi because you have more talent in your little finger than they’ll have in a lifetime.

    • Mickey, my friend, it’s okay. It’s good material for a book, and maybe it will help someone. I’m going to use all those screen shots. I’m going to put childish, silly nicknames in the book, too, because if that helps a bullied person cut their tormentor off at the knees mentally, too damn bad if people don’t like the ‘immaturity’ of it.

      I just realized that whats-her-face was talking about someone else on the comment thread about narcissists, but since they’ve called me a Narc (that’s 70s redux) so many times, I assumed she was talking about me, therefore proving to them I AM one! Hahahaha! Oy vay.

      My book will teach kids to make bullies cock-a-roaches in their mind. That’s what they are. Cock-a-roaches. Narcissistic Cockroaches.

      And now for other news: My hair looks so much better. Cut and colored. Nice. Yay!

  2. WOLFMAN

    As usual your right on the beam my love. The Nasties just seem to go on and on and blame others for their deplorable behavior.
    You can only push people so far, even decent people must eventually say enough is enough. When this happens and steps are taken these Nasties just whine and cry about not meaning to do anyone any harm. I was just kidding or I didn’t do anything wrong,wa wa wa wa. Can dish it out but invariably can’t take it when it’s turned back on them.

    • Dear MOTH Man (that would be man of the house man), you are right, as usual, but they don’t see it that way. Thank you for all your love and support, honey. Mmmphh!

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