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Fractured Fallacies of a Finagling Fact Finder and Obfuscating Humorist

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A Woman's Guide To The Universe, Internet Stuff

Expiration Makes Things Tastier: What’s Good After Its Expiration Date?

Ryan Burnette posts some funny stuff on Quora. Here’s his answer to how expiration makes things tastier….

I found this out the fun way, childhood experimentation. I was always that kid who never knew when something would come in handy.

I would save all of my Christmas candy as long as I could (not very long- temptation got the best of me after a week, usually), and even now, I hoard in video games (“But what if I can use these rusty nails!? I can’t just throw them out, what if I never find more!?”)

As it happened, my grandparents bought me a bag of sunflower seeds- in shell, barbecue flavor. It was a pretty big bag, so I had my fill, but then, instead of returning the bag to the kitchen, I tucked them behind my shelf, for later.

Later came. Much much later. A year later, after they’d expired, to be exact. Sometime before then, I remembered them, but the experiment had begun by then; did sunflower seeds actually expire?

expiration makes things tastier on chezgigi.com

As it turns out, they do not.

At least, not a year after they expire. They actually got a lot more flavorful.

My favorite sunflower seeds are the ones with that hint of savory sweetness that accompanies the nutty saltiness, and after so much time, all of the seeds taste like that! It was a wonderful discovery for eleven year old me, who thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the bag.

Funnily enough, another, longer, experiment is ongoing, and has been since I was seven. I’m not actually sure if this is still a good idea, but I can’t quit now. I’ve had a can of Coca-Cola in the refrigerator for thirteen years so far, and I plan on drinking it if and when I turn the big one double-O.

If it turns out to be tastier than a regular Coke is, I’ll dub it the Centenarian’s Surprise, and have a taste of it holo-mailed to all of my descendants, so they can be all like, “Oh my GLORG, great-grandpa, this tastes like high fructose corn syrup- the Global Conglomerate just outlawed that stuff, don’t you now it causes capitalism!? Ugh, old people.”

Jokes on them, though- I’d already be on the run from the Supreme Overlords of the Future, what with my bad jokes and the No Fun Laws of 2067! Ha!

 

4 Comments

  1. :: We are Sorry to Report that Gigi has been taken captive by the No Fun Police. If you spot her having fun anywhere please report it to the closest NFP headquarters a crack team will be immediately dispatched to deal with the problem. Thank you.::

    – MJM

  2. Wolfman

    Nothing lightens my Heart more than you my Dear.

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