Fractured Fallacies of a Finagling Fact Finder and Obfuscating Humorist

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A Woman's Guide To The Universe, Dogs, Dogs, Dogs, Internet Stuff

Google Earth Has Made My Dog Famous. Famous!

For some reason, I have an obsession with Google Earth. I love to snoop into the backyards of the neighbors. See who has a pool, or just a bunch of dirt, a secret paradise garden, or a mysterious tarp-covered building with who-knows-what inside?

I’m prepared to save someone’s life, should they be held against their will in that shack.

google earth on

Of course, in our neighborhood, the person being kept in a tarp-covered building is probably someone who needs a dry, semi-clean place to sleep. We don’t have as many homeless as we used to, but every now and then, a couple of squatters will find their way into an empty house.

Why squatters are different from the homeless, I’m not sure. One sounds hopeless and helpless, and one sounds downright evil. Like you’re gone for two weeks on vacation, and when you come home, this person has taken over your house.

That ain’t right.

Squatters are going so far as to make up fake leases, and filing them with the city. Some are renting out space in empty office buildings! (Actually, I think that’s rather ingenious. Vegas has a ton of empty storefronts and strip malls sitting around.)

I like to look at our backyard from space, too. This is our house and backyard from the air. I think they take these at dawn or something. I’m very glad they do, and didn’t catch me out sunbathing.

Our house is kind of old, but inside it’s alright. Needs some spiffing up. It’s not falling down around our heads, yet.

It’s a triplex, which means there are three units here; the main house where we live; the little bachelor pad the MOTH (master of the house) keeps as his bivouac is attached to the main house, and the little house in the back.

We’re about to clear out the house in the back, and get an older couple in there. The amount of junk people collect, people who are renters and have no right to collect and store, is incredible. I wanted them out a long time ago.

These lots are huge, which is nice. If you look at the middle part of the picture of our house, you can see the cleared area that’s the backyard of the main house. Our patch of dirt looks much nicer from a mile high. So do I when I’m sunbathing, for that matter.

But if you look closely, to the back of the clear area, near the right back corner of the yard, you’ll see a tiny black dot.

That black dot is Sugar’s poop. Which means my son really has to get out there and pick it up. I rake it, he picks it all up and takes it out front. When you can freaking see it from space, it’s time to pick it up. I’m going to print it out and put it on the fridge.

The Great Wall of China and Sugar’s poop.

That’s what I call a landmark. I’m gonna put a little red flag near it, just for Google’s Earth satellite.

google earth and sugar's poop







  1. Will Jennings

    That’s a pretty good stash of Sugar’s poop.

    I checked with the EPA, and the guy in charge of the Hazmat Division wanted to know your address.

    Of course, I didn’t give it to him. (yet). You see, I think there’s a business opportunity here.

    Small bills, no consecutive serial numbers, neatly bundled, within 24 hours. Thanks.

    • The EPA has been whipped by Drumpf! I’m not a-scared of them, Jennings! Get back to me when you got something better. Haha!

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