ChezGigi

Fractured Fallacies of a Finagling Fact Finder and Obfuscating Humorist

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Dogs, Dogs, Dogs, Love, Sex, Romance and All of That

Dogs, Death Valley, and Lazy Coyotes

In Death Valley, which is a big desert that gets really hot in the summer, and is the home of the Dunes, an awesome football team from Nevada, a team so good, they seem to just slip through their opponents’ fingers, there is a castle named Scotty.

This castle is known as Scotty’s Castle.

dogs, death valley, and lazy coyoties on chezgigi.com

A Scotty is a little dog from Scotland. Ordinarily, castles are named Rex or Rover, bigger, nobler dogs. However, bigger dogs frequently forget the wiliness of little dogs, especially when they play poker. Scotties have really good poker faces.

Rex and Rover were bested by Scotty at a card game, and lost the castle to him.

This was tough on them at first. They had to move back to Vegas, and live in a studio apartment near the Strip, and were kept awake all night by poodle prostitutes and their Rottweiler pimps.

Scotty’s Castle is located near a place called Furnace Creek, Home of the Water Heaters, an awesome bowling league from California.

dogs, death valley, and lazy coyotes on chezgigi.com

Furnace Creek is also in Death Valley.

People and animals routinely die in Death Valley, from what I gather, not having learned their lesson from the skeletal remains lying in the roads, which are designed to warn motorists that they should turn and go back to Vegas, and lose their money at the tables, instead of dying on the roads of Death Valley.

We, meaning my family and I, drove out to visit Scotty’s Castle one day.

Scotty has organized tours of his castle and makes quite a good living from them. He makes enough to buy Liver Snaps for everyone in the neighborhood. We took our dog, Jupie, with us, but it was too hot to leave her in the car while we went inside the castle.

The guides told us that tying her outside, in the shade, was not a good idea, either. She would be spotted by coyotes, and become the Coyote Special by lunch time.

I’m not positive that would have happened, because she was pretty big, but I didn’t want to take any chances, so my son elected to stay in the car, and my hubby and I took the tour.

Coyotes will not attack kids who are too big for them to carry home in an ordinary plastic shopping bag, so my son was safe.

According to the guides and guardians of Scotty’s Castle, coyotes are even wilier than Scotty dogs. Coyotes will watch people interacting with their dogs, and mimic what the dogs are doing.

If dogs jump up and down and beg for the remains of their owner’s cheeseburgers, coyotes will do that, too.

Makes perfect sense to me. Why go shopping for your dinner in a huge, hot, dusty, supermarket, where your food keeps jumping back into a hole in the ground, when all you have to do is sing and dance for your supper?

In fact, this is where the idea came from for the opening sequence of the cartoons where Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny are dancing and singing.

dogs, death valley, and lazy coyotes on chezigigi.com

Daffy and Bugs were taking lessons at Scotty’s School of Dance and Coyote Training located right there in Death Valley, and went back to MGM with their idea for a new show.

Their show became Looney Tunes, which is also an awesome Hollywood glee club. Everyone in Hollywood loved this show about Coyote Dancing Food.

The coyotes weren’t as thrilled with Looney Tunes, because coyotes don’t normally go to musicals. Despite their aptitude for mimicry, they are rather somber. They prefer drama and Kafka.

Coyotes learn so much from domesticated dogs who are on vacation in Death Valley with their families, that they stop teaching their kids old coyote traditions.

The kids don’t howl at the moon, and roll their eyes when their parents do it. They refuse to prowl suburban neighborhoods, grabbing little dogs or toddlers for their supper.

Instead, they-get this-invite the little dogs home and play video games! Oy. Plus, once kid coyotes start eating fast food, they don’t want raw bunny, anymore.

We learned a lot that hot, dusty day we visited Death Valley and Scotty’s Castle.

Not only did we learn that someone’s house may end up being named after a guy that just came to visit and never left, but we also learned that coyotes are copy cats.

They hate being called that, but it doesn’t stop them from calling someone else one.

Kafka, indeed.

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9 Comments

  1. Mini

    Poodle prostitutes ;):)

  2. cathy

    Gigi…you are FABULOUS, girlfriend!!

    So proud of your progress in the writing world!

    Cheers, Me

  3. Betsy Q.

    Love a good pooch story but a coyote that reads Kafka? Now thats something!

    • gigi wolf

      They are so intelligent and educated! That’s a true story about the coyotes; they watch and learn and imitate dogs to get cheeseburgers. Too funny.

  4. CJ

    That was so cute!! Didn’t know coyote kids ate fast food.

    I think Piyush finally fell asleep so he’s not flogging me with comments or PMing me . Rick can’t do much because he’s home and you know how Terri feels about him being on Q. So here I am to finally check out your blog, which looks great.

    I was thinking about answering that question about Landry the hoarder but I don’t know how to navigate through your blog yet. I did click on the red box with lines, top right corner, because I’ve found on other blogs that button brings up a menu and I thought I would see “questions.” When I do click on it, I see a big X. So how do I find the question section.

    • gigi wolf

      Yes, they told us if you feed coyotes, they’ll teach their kids to beg, instead of hunt. And, they learn from watching tourists’ dogs get leftovers.
      So nice Mr. is giving you a break.
      As far as I know, if you just click on the question, and scroll down a little, you should see a box with ‘your answer’ where you can write it.

      • CJ

        But how do I find the question? That’s my problem. I can click on your entries/posts and read them but I don’t see a question section.

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